Over at Relevant (link) Rachel Pietka has published an article entitled “Christians Are Not Called to Have Amazing Sex” (link). She opens her diatribe by citing the story of a non-Christian, Elizabeth Smart, and the fallout from her abduction. While the authoress feels that Elizabeth Smart’s kidnapping was somehow the fault of Mormon abstinence education, and while Mizz Pietka admits that Christians have learned from this tragedy — specifically to allow their young girls to slut it up in their preteen and teenage years — the authoress declares that Christians must go further in encouraging young Christian kids to indulge in irresponsible sexual behavior.
Although these conversations are evidence that Christians are forming a more candid, holistic and theologically sound discourse about sex, an area that still needs more attention is the far-reaching effects of abstinence rhetoric on marriage.
Jessica Ciencin Henriquez recently detailed how the abstinence movement affected her sex life and marriage in a revealing article titled, “My Virginity Mistake.” Henriquez relays how she pledged herself to Jesus at a purity ceremony at age 14, remained a virgin until she married six years later, and wound up divorced after she and her husband could not make things work in the bedroom.
Are you all following this nonsense?
Despite the title of her article, the authoress clearly feels that Christians are entitled to have amazing sex. She illustrates the problem of chastity, encouraging her readers to have amazing premarital sex, beginning in childhood, and then to divorce their spouses if the sex isn’t amazing after the wedding. Like most contemporary Christians, she doesn’t bother to cite any part of the text of the bible, nor any original sources from commentary by church fathers, in making her arguments.
Thanks to Rollo (visit his blog here) for finding this nonsensical article, and posting it on Dalrock (visit that blog here).
See also: “Why I am Not A Christian“
I see a lot of problems with this piece, but I don’t see where she encourages premarital sex or divorce. It read more like resignation that marriage may involve a bad sex life even if you follow all the rules and Christians should just accept that fate.
I have my own issues with this position, of course.
Dear Mich:
Thanks for the reply. You write…
This is kinda technical, but Mizz Pietka is, actually, being permissive about both premarital sex and about divorce. She explicitly proposes an a then b implication above. The contrapositive, not b then not a holds as a result.
Basically, if someone says (as the authoress does) “abstinence before marriage leads to divorce,” then they are also saying “no divorce implies no abstinence before marriage”.
If one of these propositions is absurd, then the other one must be, because one is the equivalent of the other.
https://infogalactic.com/info/Proof_by_contrapositive
As an aside, I will give the authoress credit for revealing just how crappy men have it these days. So many dudes in the sphere idealize female virginity, believing that happy marriages are likely if they can only find an unspoiled girl. This is a good example of a thorough debunking of that particular misconception.
Best,
Boxer
Sir
Maybe prince just did not what to do the work to please her husband?
She didn’t say that abstinence leads to divorce or that modern Christianity should let up on premarital sex restrictions to avoid divorce. She cited one woman who believed she could have avoided divorce by engaging in premarital sex and mentioned that the benefits of waiting are exaggerated (they are). But, it seems the author attributes the divorce to the dishonesty surrounding no-sex-before-marriage ministries rather than to abstinence itself, which it looks like you both agree does not inherently result in happy marriages or bedrooms.
I agree with that. Young people in particular are being fed the lie that great sex is a reward for following the rules, and godless heathens will never really be able to have this transcendent sexual and marital experience that awaits pious virgins. That’s bunk, as I’m sure you know firsthand.
She explicitly states that bad sex is no reason to divorce or reduce martial investment. Great! But her notion of the “proper place” for sex in marriage is presumptuous. Sex is not icing on the cake; marriage and sex cannot be separated, and sex should never be relegated to the status of “gift” that some couples get and some just don’t. The loss of sex through mental or physical incapacitation is worth mourning.
Her musings about the “place” for sex is a far cry from an endorsement of premarital sex or divorce, but it’s just as far from being a practical solution for “incompatable” couples and provides no viable options for couples who really are suffering. She identified a problem, but took the easy way out on fixing it.
This is a really great response. I still think you’re wrong. (Why would she bring up the Henriquez story if she wasn’t implying that premarital abstinence led to the divorce?) but other than that, you’ve certainly got a valid take on her article.
I assume you don’t care if I post your well-written comment later, as an article in its own right. I’ll give you credit, of course.
Of course! I always enjoy your intellectual take on things.
A more appropriate headline to this post might have been “why Christian men should think hard and long before offering life-long commitment to a ‘Christian’ woman.”
Such articles like this one from Relevant Magazine is why I have zero inspiration to marry; there simply is no reason why any Christian man who takes the Bible seriously to do so, at least in the Western world. Even when all motivations for non-Christian men to marry is stripped away, Christian men still clung to the institution as the sole means to obtain Biblical-ordained sex. However, open hypergamy and open cuckoldry have made dead-bedroom syndrome in the Christian community an open secret. Because women are marrying older, men are already looking at a depreciating commodity. Add to that the certainty that sex will be a humdrum and a rarity. What could possibly convince any self-respecting man to tie the knot, especially as they mature and realize the immense, indescribable personal freedom that comes with bachelorhood?
Sir
I’m kidda ulgy but I’m a Christ following virgin
It is my job to give my husband a unused student eager to learn how to please in and out the bedroom. Just how I was raised