Trust Speaks on Infidelity

[Written by Trust]

I wouldn’t have considered myself a PUA. Being faithful had never been a problem for me, having the same girlfriend from my senior year in high school until my senior year in college. During the five years between that ex and meeting my wife, I was athletic and good looking. I never set out to pick up women, I just accepted a few offers that I didn’t know the background on.

A woman, we’ll call her Sheri, came on to me at a fourth of July house party when I was I 22 or 23. She was visiting from out of town. During the fireworks, when everyone else was outside, Sheri, who was visiting from out of town, followed me when I sent inside to get a beer and kissed me. She pulled me to another room, and after making out a couple minutes, she kissed down my body, undid my pants, and blew me. Later, she came back to my apartment and we had sex.

A few months later, I met a women named Melissa at a dance club. She was in town for work and out with coworkers, and we started off dancing after her coworkers left. She asked for me email for when she was in town again. Claimed she was divorced, been a while, horny, etc. We had sex several times over the coming months, when she was in town for work. EVERY time she saw me she blew me. She’d blow me, I’d return the favor, we’d have sex, then we’d do it again in the morning in her hotel before leaving for work.

An email from Melissa’s husband is how I found out she was still married. After I confronted her about it, she admitted one of her coworkers who i previously slept with complimented my foreplay skills, so she initiated the dancing with me and went from there. Turns out, her dad is a minister, her husband is a bit older and very successful, so she had put on this good church girl image. That’s how I know she did things for me she didn’t do for her husband. To be blunt, she was incredibly good at giving blow jobs, so I was not the first guy she cheated with after over 10 years of marriage.

A few months later, a friend told me Sheri got divorced. I asked when she got married, and her friend said “she was married when you nailed her.” This was just a case of “girls talk.” She also told me Sheri wasn’t one to put out in her marriage. I found out about Sheri’s marriage last, but I slept with her first.

At 22-24, I was too naive and inexperienced to see the signs. Both were from out of town (didn’t risk running in to me with their husbands). No phone numbers exchanged, or suggestions to spend time together outside of bed. Neither showed interest beyond sex, which is unusual since single women typically use sex to pursue relationships or entice men to spend money on them. The fact that I just had to show up and do nothing but have sex meant they were getting money/support/etc. from elswhere.

In any case, I hope this helps. I have never intentionally been with a married woman, and I’ve never cheated on a girlfriend or my wife. 20 years ago, I just had the horniness of an in-shape 22 year old, and was naive enough to think attractive women 10 years older really did want sex and nothing more. So, I wouldn’t call myself a player. I never really had any game, in fact my loyalty was often a turnoff to women sexually once they got to know me.

It was over 20 years ago and I’m a better man now. These are just lessons learned. I will admit, I cannot know for sure what they did or did not do for their husbands, but I do believe based on what I learned after the fact that they were more generous to me than with these men they had married. Especially in the case of the one maintaining the good “church girl” image.

Like I said, I am not proud of this, which is why I appreciate the personal anonymity. It is important for others to be told what red flags I was oblivious to. The lies we are taught about women’s sexuality are very destructive.