It is sadly common for men to become despondent in this day and age. I wish I could write something that was adequate for those who are stuck in a deep, all-consuming depression. I can’t. Those men ought to seek out advice from a qualified psychoanalyst or medical professional. I am neither. That disclaimer out of the way, I thought it might help to explore the topic here.
Inasmuch as depression is a universal problem, the effects of the problem as it exhibits in the lives of men admit a masculine solution. I argue that a significant factor in depression is the feeling of helplessness, and this is rooted in a constellation of inborn traits which are suppressed by industrial society: namely, the masculine drive to overcome.
Men possess a need to feel as though they are succeeding in a hostile world. In this society, where bodily survival is as simple as signing on the dole, the physiological work of surviving is short-circuited to such an extent as to make the psychological reward nonexistent.
One of the commonly constructed byproducts of overcoming, which has been appropriated by advanced industrial society, is acceptance by women. In earlier generations, the most common token of this type was marriage, signified by a ring and a title. Marriage, having now been shorn of all its inherent meaning, is in the process of being replaced by playa culture. Today’s token of overcoming is as likely displayed by having lots of sexy conquests.
As a corollary, this is why I scoff at the cruxtoids and their fake boomer morality, which is often pointed at young brothers, in a cynical attempt to AMOG. The critics of Roosh’s young disciples were part and parcel of the redefinition of the social contract. These faggots now pretend to look down their noses at young men, who have no other way to overcome, thanks to the social changes they spearheaded.
A young man enters playa culture — fucking lots of hoez — because there is now no other way this young man can feel like a man.
- He can’t get married without losing his life’s work.
- He can’t join a men’s club, because none exist.
- He can’t start a business, without hiring a quota of wimminz.
- He can’t “go west” and be left alone.
- He can’t even join the military any longer, without being forced into close quarters with wimminz of the skankiest and least worthy variety.
Thus playa culture is the only way that many young men can overcome despair. It’s a cheap and meaningless fix, but it does work.
What else might work? Well, I’ve found that work works!
If a man declares: “I have worked hard but have not found success,” don’t believe him.
If a man declares: “I have not exerted myself, and I have found success,” don’t believe him.
If a man declares: “I worked as hard as I could and I have become successful”, believe him!
When I find myself becoming depressed, I try to pinpoint the cause of such. While I recognize that some brothers may have medical problems, I find that all my own depression is based upon psychological stressors. Moreover, they all reduce to the feeling of hopelessness that is rooted in my failure to overcome.
In the past, I resigned myself in thinking that some things simply were out of my power to change. Whether this misconception was due to laziness or lack of intelligence, I don’t know, and it doesn’t matter.
Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace, and pursue it.
Some things might seem insurmountable. Suppose a man had a habit of driving drunk, and, at some point in the past, that man’s negligence killed a school bus full of children. If this were to happen, he would probably feel deeply depressed for the rest of his life.
It would be true that such a person would have no ability to turn back time, and prevent the deaths he caused. It might also satisfy us to think that such a man deserves to live as a psychological cripple. In fact, keeping such a man in such a state would simultaneously keep him from repaying the debt he owes to the social order. It wouldn’t benefit anyone.
This is an extreme example, but it’s safe to say that each one of us has some guilt over past mistakes. If we succumb to a sort of paralysis over such stuff, then it seems like we are missing the point.
And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.
One can not overcome things that have already happened, but if we escalate the memory of such things to a reified object, one will find that he can overcome the guilt, and in the process, help to cleanse the world. The mistakes we have made in the past serve to teach us lessons, and give us the means to overcome mistakes in the now.
Care, for the world and for ourselves, is convincingly argued as the fulfillment of an examined life.
The perfectio of human being: becoming what one can be, in being free for one’s ownmost possibilities, is an accomplishment of care; but, equiprimordially, care determines the fundamental mode of this being, according to which it is delivered over to the world taken care of. The ambiguity of care entails a single constitution in a twofold instantiation…
To conclude…
It is impossible to care without work, inasmuch as work is the outward manifestation of care. Moreover, work is the means of overcoming. A failure to overcome no longer means physical death, but today it leads to psychological depression and counterproductive libertinism. As such, work may be an antidote to feelings of despondency and depression.
You are not helpless. Life is not hopeless. Get up and overcome.
Unfortunately I think this life actually leads to despair. Akin to drinking salt water when you are thirsty. Roosh found this out…he seems to be doing a 180…whether it is a legit conversion or to sell books he’s actually going after the globohomo/promiscuity culture.
I do think a lot of overcoming despair is a relationship with God (Jesus)…at least in my case. Then your work becomes fruitful even in droughts and adversity.
You make a fair point, but I don’t think saltwater is an apt analogy. My understanding is that you’ve never indulged in the playa lifestyle. If I’m wrong, please correct me.
I think playa culture is more like Baudrillard’s idea of the simulacrum. Casual sex has many of the trappings of marital sex, but lacks important benefits that remain hidden to the playa.
Coupling up in a monogamous fashion has the potential of a deeper truth event, which the playa lifestyle does not allow for. The playa thinks that he is making authentic progress, but he never really approaches an authentic human connection, no matter how skillful he becomes at picking up skanks. He never gets the benefit of feedback from a trusted partner. He never gets the experience of living life as a dyad. All that stuff that monogamy brings is not insignificant.
@Boxer…
I have not but you did indirectly point out how my analogy works…
Think of the marital act as fresh water and playa lifestyle as saltwater when it comes to that. Then it makes more sense.