Those of us who aren’t completely autistic come to realize the benefits of the golden mean. This is a peripatetic term which describes the sensibility and desirability of avoiding extremes.
Down below in the comments, Derek attempts to insult me by noting that:
“Men concern themselves with the future”, says the man who won’t be marriageable material, marry the right type of women, and have children. I suppose you can take the Darwinian approach that those who don’t reproduce are ultimately doing everyone a favor by removing themselves from the gene pool.
If I wanted to be even more of an asshole than I already am, I could become extreme. I could, for example, condemn all the married men I encounter. I could also start gaming and fucking their wives. I could post long hamster-wheel rationalizations about what I was doing was normal and healthy, and I’d probably poach quite a few fans from people like Roosh V and Heartiste in the process.
Of course, I could also veer off to the other extreme, and marry some woman. In the spatiotemporal location where this marriage is to occur, that marriage would entail becoming that woman’s servant. I would have to come when she calls, sit when she commands, and shell out the cash for whatever frivolity she orders up, from one moment to the next. I could construct an elaborate ego-defense, in order to justify all this, by pretending to be the only real man in the world, and condemning every other man for not showing females enough respect. If I were successful enough in that regard, Dalrock would end up mocking some of my essays on his blog, as he does with similar cretins.
Rather than following either of these extreme paths, I have chosen to adopt a certain set of ethical standards for myself. I do not expect anyone else to follow these standards, as they’re entirely self contained. This is in line with my general interpretation of MGTOW, given that my “way” is mine alone, and it isn’t necessarily going to be the way of anyone else. There is also a political precedent. During the cold war, the anti-Soviet communist revolutionary Josep Broz Tito formed the Non-Aligned movement. Like individuals, societies also want to forge their own paths, rather than obeying the orders of foreign ideologues.
Brother Derek can imply that I don’t think of the future when I make the conscious decision not to replicate my genes. In fact, like many of his other contentions, the opposite is true. In the first place, I have tons of genetic relatives, and “my” genes will be shared well into the future. In fact, my genes will likely outlive most of y’all’s, simply because my ethnic group is much more successful than the mean in North America, in encouraging reproduction.
In the second place, Derek is buying into the masculine mystique promoted by people like Roosh and Heartiste, who will tell you that men can cat around almost indefinitely, without ever damaging their own psychological states. Such people are liars, and I have argued this extensively, for years. Being promiscuous may produce a different sort of damage in the male psyche than in the female one, but the damage is done. I usually answer people like Derek with a challenge to introduce me to his sister or daughter, and perhaps I’ll marry that woman. The reality is that men like me would make very lousy husbands. Within a year, I’ll be fucking my wife’s friends and colleagues. Within five years, I’ll be divorced, and unlike most of the poor saps I talk to on Dalrock, I’ll deserve my run through the family courts.
I am, in fact, thinking of the future, when I consciously refuse to become the unfaithful husband of a decent woman. I am thinking of the future when I refuse to sire a divorce-bastard by such a woman. I am thinking of the future when I refuse to give one of the unmarriagable sluts I slum around with the baby that she’d love to have. I don’t want any of my offspring tortured or killed by such a woman.
I like to have sex, and I’m currently in a world where sluts and playas are encouraged. What I do is minimize my risk of catching a communicable disease, minimize my risk of a false-accusation of misconduct, and minimize the possibility of a pregnancy occurring. I do this in a number of different ways. For example, I let google and apple log my location. I (as smoothly as possible) document a memorandum-of-understanding before sex, and an acknowledgement of consensual and fun behavior after. I don’t fuck married women. I don’t fuck anyone I work with or have social or professional authority over.
There is another variation of third positionality, and that would be the one adopted by Earl. Earl doesn’t seem to be interested in discussing it in detail, but guys like him offer a young brother another valid alternative to slavery or PUAdom. I’ve often wondered if he’d object to me collecting some of his comments and writing a post of them in his honor. Time will tell.
This is why I said “…the man who won.t be marriageable material”. I object to the notion that all men should get married: they shouldn’t. Some men should get out of the game completely, as Earl has done.
I completely agree. The divorce statistics bear this out as well.
Perhaps you realize that I was not trying to insult you. No, the reason is this: casual sex is not about concern for the future. It is damaging to society as the whole, which is the context of the original comment, this notion that women were damaging the environment with complete disregard to the future. The same goes with extra-marital sex. It is counter to God’s plan for sexuality and damages society both in the future and the now. I stand by the claim that this flavor of MGTOW enables feminism. It was meant as an observation, not an insult.
Earl’s brain is wasted commenting here and there on various blogs where only he sees the big picture of his thoughts.
I wouldn’t object to it.
The reality is I haven’t discussed it much because I’m still trying to live it out. I only made the willing decision to do it a month ago and I pray for God’s help to keep it up. Up until then it was being clueless that often I was being controlled either by the flesh or the world.
And let me put it this way…this lifestyle won’t be any easier or do you favors with women much like being their slave or trying to fornicate with them. I’ve already offended one when I commented that having a vibrator collection is being on the crazy train. However their reactions are starting to bother me less because having that reaction is pure nonsense. If you are going to get offended a man decides that a woman sticking a piece of vibrating plastic in their twat is crazy…you can die on that hill. If you are going to get offended a man points out that you showing off your crotch is for attention, you can die on that hill.
You’re free to not read them. Unlike women and various tyrants I’ve started to see the downside to trying to control everybody and demand they live my lifestyle. It turns you nuts. I only intend it as advice or a guide.
No, I’m genuinely interested in your comments. Your opinion (advice / guidance) is a unique perspective sorely missing. But I refer back to Boxer’s statement: “Comments are for losers”. If comments are bread, guest articles are steak and lobster. Those little bread crumbs of your journey that you toss about are fascinating, but incomplete.
I think Derek might have been complimenting you. Then again, I think you might just be busting his balls, as I did above.
Either way I’m probably going to compile the Book of Earl at some point. Keep thinking and working out your system. I think a lot of young men would benefit from your experiences.
Ah okay…I misunderstood.
I’ll repeat I’ve only willingly been doing this for a month. Up until then I knew that having sex outside of marriage was sinful and only really avoided it because I’ve seen it take many a men down. So it was really based off fear. Every story I read about how the woman consents and turned it into rape because he didn’t react the way she wanted so she wanted him to be imprisoned should be a cautionary tale.
And I did my fair share of being duped by ‘game’ (although it wasn’t to have sex with girls…it was trying to knock them off the pedestal I had) jerking off and occasionally watching pr0n…so I get why sexual sin is damaging to a man’s pysche much like fornication. I think I always got that chastity was a worthy virtue but like St. Augustine I was ‘Lord make me chaste, but not yet. It wasn’t until I in-depth read about it I realized why it’s a worthy virtue. (The book is ‘A Case for Chastity: the way to real love and true freedom for Catholic teens’…I didn’t care about the ‘teen’ part in the title)
Living a chaste life is embracing how and why God made sex and respecting it’s creative power (sealing a marital vow and procreation) rather than trying to avoid something or at worst not knowing any better and turning it into a destructive force. The only thing I think I ‘got’ early…fornication is a very easy way for a woman to control a man. I saw it happen to many of my friends. If Boxer has experienced it, I’m sure he’d agree that’s often the result. The ironic part is that both sexual liberation/contraception and government/mangina pastors/counselors sticking their noses in marriage gives women an almost deathgrip on matters of relationship control. That was something that didn’t fly with me early in life, and I’ve been around many-a-controlling woman. They’re spirit crushers. My last girlfriend happened to spring that little fact about herself a few months after she decided she didn’t want me leading things anymore. So while I was hurt at first, I realized that it’s good when divine intervention has your back.
I was also lucky that my father was a leader of the household and my mother wasn’t overly controlling (when she tried my dad usually shut it down). I will say she is quite influential though…a great woman. I got lucky in that respect.
If you have these conversations by text message or social media, please consider submitting screenshots. We have a whole YHBT section (you hace been tr0ll3d… get it?) here in this postal code, that’s being sorely neglected of late. I’ll carefully rub out identifiable information.
As you surely already know, when you’re telling a woman you disapprove of her trashiness, you’re issuing a challenge for her to qualify herself to you. Some women, I’m sure, will take you up on it. I wonder what their reaction would be to an explanation that you’ve taken a vow of chastity, and that no wimminz’ stank-hole is worth your immortal soul. I bet some poor lass is going to go absolutely bonkers if she hears that.
Best,
Boxer
This was a meatspace conversation…no text there. Really it wasn’t even about her…one of my friends was talking about how his soon to be exwife has that collection. To which I said she was on the crazy train (and he agreed). The woman in question was listening to the conversation when she wondered to me why that was crazy in an ‘I’m offended’ tone. Since this was in a workplace environment I left it at that…(i.e. didn’t defend or explain any further). At any rate I hit some nerve there.
The book I read pointed out some examples of when people do that (tell the other person they’ve taken the vow). Some people leave and some found it refreshing. So far I’ve only told one woman about that (mainly because she asked what book I was reading) and it was pleasant reaction. Probably depends on the woman as to what type of response you get.
And if you think my consent to sex can turn to rape easily mantra is out there…
https://nypost.com/2018/03/27/college-student-pleads-guilty-to-lying-about-rape-on-campus/
At least they are starting to dole out some punishment for this grand lie.
The more benefical thing would be to quit telling your daughters they can have all the safe sex with strange men they want and not think that’s going to damage their pysche immensly. But that’s just mansplaing evil patriarchal talk which oppresses the princess’s freedom to ruin herself and control everybody.
Holy Shit! They’re actually holding this wimminz accountable!
The tide has also started to turn on false Title IX rape allegations. So far, a lot (I’ve lost count) have been overturned by the courts or ended in a settlement. Unfortunately, the women get off easy because they have only lied to school administrators rather than law enforcement.
She’s Polish so that explains a lot right there.
She’ll cough up a fine and promise to “never never do that again”
Shell leave unscathed and when in the future if ever questioned about this, the worn phrase and apology without apologizing will be given “Yeah, what I did was wrong, but I brought awareness to the countless women out there everyday who don’t have a voice.”
@Derek
The problem with a settlement it assumes “guilt” even though there was no trial or conviction
I get that women have regret after fornication…they should. Which is why the big lie of them engaging in safe sex with random men somehow ’empowers’ them. It doesn’t. Consent to sex outside of marriage doesn’t empower them.
But to try and correct it by accusing a man of rape and ruining his life is ludicrous and it makes it less believable for a woman’s testimony when actual rape occurs. That’s a sad fact of life now that anytime a woman makes the claim of rape…I don’t believe her because it’s often regret after fornication.
“No wimminz stank hole is worth your immortal soul”
That only applies if you subscribe to the pathetic anti-sexual ethics of the Roman Catholics and other nut job celibates. …other than that you should be free to pursue healthy sexual unions with women if the rules are mutually agreed upon right from the start
Sex is better in committed relationships and where love can be shared and enjoyed with each other but in this day and age it’s quite hard to find
This is not just settlements. But even if it were, the universities are losing and settling with the aggrieved male. In reality, the courts are making decisions where the university is on the losing side and the improperly accused man is on the winning side. They’ve done this almost a hundred times. The feminists are losing this particular battle.
On an amusing note, one male had sex with a female and subsequently made a Title IX rape sexual assault against the female before she could make a claim against him. The University of Cincinnati female was then suspended.
Respectfully disagree Derek. The culture war is almost over, and the winner has been feminism………the newer consent laws here in California……….the march towards dark socialism politically and socially……..the shout downs at universities, outright destruction of property, physical harm to people…….and even the Duke lacrosse case, that Rolling Stone story……..mattress girl…………..the “racial” attack at SUNY Albany and the countless stories that never made the press……going waaayyy back to Tawanda Brawley
Girl lies / gets caught…………………….nothing………..slap on the wrist, moves on with life. An “out of court settlement” or “agreement” which lets the university / college off the hook, the woman off the hook, and the men involved STILL have a stigma smeared upon them