For The Single Bros…

…who need to know how to spot a ho’ in the wild.

I have little sympathy for a man who complains about being used by a ho’. It’s current year, fam. You should have this shit down by now. Even so, for all those older men who are fresh out of the divorce courts, here’s Boxer’s incomplete list of red flags that alert an attentive playa to the fact that he’s wasting his resources on a ho’.

1. Skanky tatts. This really means any tattoo on a woman, but especially those tattoos that are located near the breast, ass or vagina.
2. Disagreeable attitude. If a woman wants to demonstrate how independent she is on a first date, then she’s really got some grade-a insecurity. This has translated, with a 99% probability, into a parade of men in her bedroom for years now. Check out immediately at the first sign of this nonsense.
3. Jaded. By definition, a jaded woman is oversexed. This leads to a number of identifiable personality traits. If the woman comes off as “fronting” or posing as a super tough and together lady, she’s a ho’. Often these women will not be disagreeable or bitchy. They may feign an attraction or come off as overly sweet. Don’t be fooled.
4. Accusations. Freud called this displacement. If she declares that you’re a playa, or infers that you’re going to break her heart, then she’s a ho’ who has a long string of sanchos on the side.
5. Ho’ friends. Remember that women are herd creatures. Like attracts like often in this world.
6. Gay friends. Note that this is an even worse tell than no. 5. If she hangs out with out-and-proud gay dudes, weird trannies, or other promiscuous types, it’s because they’re the only people loose enough to compete and commiserate with her. Get the hell out immediately.
7. Male References. She talks about her male “friends,” often by name, even though you’ve never met them. Rest assured that the vast majority of these “friends” have been up in every hole.
8. Attention Whoring. The bitch that can’t quit posting high-angle selfies to instagram? Yeah, she’s a ho’. You needed me to tell you that.
9. Talks about sex. If a woman is talking about sex, it’s because she’s imagining having sex with you. This is especially relevant if she opens the subject first, and early in your acquaintance with her. If she’s imagining having sex with you on the first date, then you can be sure that she’s already had sex with me and all my friends on first dates too.
10. She paints you a picture. Also true if she writes you a poem, or a song for guitar. These cute gestures are major red flags. I have some ideas as to the motivations behind this (overcompensation?) but don’t completely understand it, yet.

Ultimately, your instincts will clue you in better than my past observations. You have the right to be picky, and you shouldn’t waste your time and resources on a ho’ unless you’re sure you just want to play the field and have fun yourself.