It is unwise for a man or woman to enter marriage without understanding how marriage will impact their happiness. The majority of married life will be relatively unhappy. Most persons will need to be married for nearly 4 decades before they possibly get that spark back that they had at the beginning.
Many women are taught by the feminist society that they can (and should) divorce if they become unhaaaaaaaaaapy!! Accordingly, the highest divorce rates occur during those early years, as marital happiness steadily declines.
Without a doubt, raising children is a stressful, difficult experience.
Merely having a child results in an instantaneous drop in marital happiness. Interrupted sleep, poop, noise, and sickness are not conducive to sanity. It helps to have a stay at home mom, but if she works then finding a babysitter is stressful and costly.
It gets a little easier once the children enter school, although you’ll have a busy schedule with sports and other extra-curricular activities. Unfortunately this is only a temporary improvement. Kids become teenagers. Anyone who has ever met or been a teenager understands the horror of this.
It turns out that children are expensive and wives like spending money. So men work hard to provide their family, working to advance their careers. Husbands and fathers are abnormally driven and successful at this.
You’ll come home at the end of every stressful 10-hour day exhausted to find your wife exhausted from caring for your 3 noisy children. Dinner will need to be made, diapers changed, vacuuming done, laundry folded, lunches packed, and lawn mowed. Guess who has to do most of that so she can rest? Good luck if she’s pregnant.
But then you will get a call from work. Do you like that big pay raise you just got? Duty calls. You can say goodbye to having sex with her tonight. Maybe you can schedule it for next Wednesday.
You’ll find your groove, learning to work on less sleep and limited appreciation even as you get older and your body becomes less capable. Yet everything is okay, right?
Then the roof starts to leak and needs to be replaced. The AC unit just died. The car’s automatic transmission blew out (should have driven manual!). Jimmy needs surgery. The high school quarterback just got Susie pregnant. Now you got laid off and the wife has to go back to work.
The financial burdens will pile up and it will be rough.
When was the last time we even went to bed together, let alone had sex? I can’t even remem….zzzzzzzz.
Marriage is a truly terrible proposition. It consists of tons of work with future prospects that 50% will never make it to. Some have compared it to voluntary slavery. Perhaps that is accurate.
There is only one thing worse than being married…
…and that is being unmarried.
This post is tongue-in-cheek. Marriage can look pretty bad if it is presented that way. Depending on what you read and who you talk to, you might get the impression that marriage offers nothing to a man, that MGTOW is the way to happiness. Perhaps for some it is.
Life is hard but having someone at your side makes things just that much better.
We owe it to men to find a way to make marriage viable, to open up its benefits to more men. Part of that is informing them of the pitfalls, to help them choose more intelligently. This blog does an excellent job of that. Yet just as important is acknowledging the benefits and describing how to achieve them realistically. I will continue to do so.
lol……teenagers….yesh, it’s such a “magical” time of your life. I would not wish being a teenager again on myself or any other person. My mom once said to me when I was a teen “You will promise me not to kill yourself won’t you…….after you get out of high school, it really does get better”
Welsh morbid humor by her.
No, it’s being divorced.
It’s not the grind or unhappiness that scares a lot of men from marriage, heck I think most guys should know it’s part of the deal…it’s the fact they could be easily divorced and stripped of a lot of their livelihood if a woman decides she’s unhappy.
That’s what I’ve found, also.
Even with the institutionalized disrespect for fathers in mass culture, and even with all the temptations and limitations imposed from outside, the family man who reaches the end of his life still married gets the satisfaction of having a family, full of grandchildren, of whom he can be justifiably proud.
The divorced man gets to have all his life’s produce divided three ways, between the state, various parasite attorneys, and his skank-ho ex, and he gets his family stripped away from him.
Incidentally, Derek and Earl: your faggot Christian churches are at the forefront of spreading the meme that innocent fathers deserved this treatment, and your faggot Christian churches endlessly run interference for the scam. Check out recent posts by my good friend Tim Bayly for examples. When I have more time, I’m definitely going to get back on Twitter and make him a personal project of mine. In the interim, you guys should consider converting to something else. You really aren’t Christians, and the Christians don’t deserve you, anyway.
No, the ones promoting divorce and emasculation because they are insecure about their manhood are the ones who aren’t Christians.
If you are going to lump me in with the Mark Driscoll types…I’ll have to stop you there.
I understand your sentiment.
I could start crowing about how “I am the real Mormon” as I denounced all the Mormons who are tax-cheating, selling porn and alcohol to outsiders (shamelessly, right on the border of the Blood reserve) letting their kids shoplift from the Chinese restaurant, etc. etc. ad infinitum.
(I spent some time in Cardston recently, and found that nothing had really changed.)
It wouldn’t mean anything, despite the fact that I can pull quote after quote from Brigham Young and Orson Pratt to back my play. The reality is that Mormons are parasites because that’s what Mormons do. When Mormons quit acting like assholes, then maybe they can transcend the association.
Same with Christians, who are constantly promoting faggotry and perversion, who are constantly running interference for the divorce-industry racket, and who are in favor of every manner of degeneracy, and who are constantly on twitter calling for kid-glove treatment for pedophiles, while taking a zero tolerance policy against decent family men.
Doesn’t matter if you approve or not. The Christians who approve are in control of Christianity. Your god seems to be fine with it. Bulldykes and sleazy con men are giving the sermons. Tim Bayly, Cane Caldo, and other scum are on twitter promoting it. Those are the authorities, and they will define what Christianity is and is not.
Christianity is such a disgusting religion, that it’s even too much for me. I’d sooner join the Church of Satan than any of your mainstream Christian churches.
Cane Caldo is an authority….lol. What church does Tim Bayly run? I can assure you I’m not in that church.
Granted I’m not quite sure what a hierarchy structure is to a Marxist…but I can guarantee you some anonymous guy at Dalrock’s is not anything close to any authority figure when it comes to Christianity.
I’m Catholic…our authority stems from Jesus and the Apostles and their successors. Protestants/Mormons/Jews/Islam have their own authority types.
I mean I’ve read the Catholic catechism before on divorce and it says quite a bit the same things as to what a lot of us say divorce does…
‘2384 Divorce is a grave offense against the natural law. It claims to break the contract, to which the spouses freely consented, to live with each other till death. Divorce does injury to the covenant of salvation, of which sacramental marriage is the sign. Contracting a new union, even if it is recognized by civil law, adds to the gravity of the rupture: the remarried spouse is then in a situation of public and permanent adultery:
If a husband, separated from his wife, approaches another woman, he is an adulterer because he makes that woman commit adultery, and the woman who lives with him is an adulteress, because she has drawn another’s husband to herself.
2385 Divorce is immoral also because it introduces disorder into the family and into society. This disorder brings grave harm to the deserted spouse, to children traumatized by the separation of their parents and often torn between them, and because of its contagious effect which makes it truly a plague on society.
2386 It can happen that one of the spouses is the innocent victim of a divorce decreed by civil law; this spouse therefore has not contravened the moral law. There is a considerable difference between a spouse who has sincerely tried to be faithful to the sacrament of marriage and is unjustly abandoned, and one who through his own grave fault destroys a canonically valid marriage.’
This is unarguably true. It frames the entire strategy.
The first step is avoiding entering into a marriage doomed to failure. Knowledge and good decisions help, but no one can be perfectly prepared. If you take the plunge (for better or worse), the next step is to feed and water the marriage. Divorce avoidance doesn’t end the day you get married, it’s an ongoing process. In most situations.excepting gold diggers.divorce isn’t a foregone conclusion.
I object to calls to avoid marriage on principle alone. It’s one thing to refuse to marry because you can’t find anyone who won’t divorce you, but it is another to refuse to marry if you have legitimate opportunities.
I understand the argument that marriage should be shunned because of divorce risk. Realistically, I don’t think the threat of divorce is enough to avoid marriage. The benefits of marriage are just too tempting. So I stay practical: men will marry, so what can I do prepare them and to protect their marriages from divorce?
To what? It’s not like disavowing them has any practical consequence. Unlike Brother Earl, it’s not like they really want me anyway.
I don’t buy any studies or graph man-nip-u-lay-shun on the subject .. all generated to keep men believing it’s a true statement .. FAKE NEWS.
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Wait till the end ..
“I’m the most intelligent man here” .. “smart men don’t get married.”
I’m on the side for marriage because of the benefits and responsibilities it still has plus the chance at having children. However pointing out things like how promiscuity increases divorce risk, her having friends trying to whisper ’empowerment’ in her ear when she has a bout of unhappiness, and a system that is banking on her divorce you for its own personal gain can’t be ignored when a man is discerning.
I mean that whole ‘women think 80% of men are unattractive’ I think is just projection. 80% of women (at least in America) I would term unmarriageable. Mainly based on promiscuity alone.
Life is hard but having someone at your side makes things just that much better.
If she truly is at/on your side, then yes, life is infinitely better. A wife who is truly a helpmeet is what makes a marriage a REAL marriage. Unfortunately, even among supposed “Christian” women who claim to be “born again,” and thus living by what the Bible commands them to do as wives, being a helpmeet to any husband is the worst idea imaginable and it shows in the way they behave toward their husbands. If the minority of women (i.e., “Christian” women) who are well aware of their proper wifely roles and are supposedly committed to fulfilling them overtly refuse to do so, one can only imagine the behavior and attitude of the secular majority of women. Thus, for most men, marriage not only does NOT mean having a woman “at [his] side,” it means having a contentious, antagonistic woman doing everything possible to be a burden and a hindrance. Life is difficult enough for men even when they’re facing it alone in today’s world. Being shackled to a burden who adds to the difficulty isn’t any sane man’s idea of a pleasant and productive, or even tolerable life.
Feeriker,
Yep, a woman who wants to help her husband in the ways he wants her help is pretty rare. Not enough to consider marriage a sane decision, but choosing marriage in service to the Lord still remains as worthy, just as living out one’s days unencumbered is.