Hollywood Skank Arrested

The dried-out old bag at left is Heather Locklear, age 57. Skanky Heather was arrested last night, and charged with two counts of battery on first-responders.

The Ventura County (CA/US) Sheriff’s Department was first called to the whore’s house around 6 o’clock, Sunday evening. Witnesses in the neighborhood had reported a domestic violence situation unfolding. When officers arrived, they claim that they did the whore a favor, warning her to shut the fuck up and quit being a nuisance. They were subsequently called in again, four hours later. Officers describe finding a belligerent skank, drugged out of her mind, trashing her own house, and screaming at the top of her lungs. True to their word, they arrested her, and police say she immediately started fighting with them. Skank-ho Heather was reported to be so irrational, that police officers ordered her to be taken to hospital for a medical evaluation. Police say she started kicking the hell out of an ambulance driver, shortly after he arrived to take her to the doctor. Eventually, they tied her down, and she got tired of playing the jackass. She’s sat in the clink over night, and has just been released on bail this afternoon.

Heather-ho is no stranger to legal problems. In February of this year, this violent skank was arrested after she allegedly beat up her boyfriend. As will surprise no one, it was skank-ho Heather who called the cops, playing the VAWA card, claiming that said boyfriend tried to murder her. When the deputies arrived, they found Heather-skank alive and perfectly healthy. Her boyfriend, in contrast, had a chunk bitten out of his face, and was covered in blood. Heather kept up the victim charade until the cops clapped the bracelets on her. The police report states that once she was detained, her demeanor instantly transformed from tears to rage. The report goes on to state that Locklear threatened the arresting officer’s children.

It really boggles the mind to note that her arrest, last night, came after she had posted bond for this earlier incident, and while she was preparing for that first trial. A normal person would probably try to keep a low profile at a time like this. Like any typical skank-ho wimminz, Locklear can not control herself even when she’s facing felony charges.

Locklear gained fame as a 1990s sex goddess in the hit tee-vee show Melrose Place. The program, which originally aired on Fox, was a low budget evening soap opera, aimed at teenagers. It portrayed the lives and trials of a bunch of spoiled, narcissistic children who, despite not having jobs, somehow managed to afford living in a trendy deco apartment in West Hollywood, all unsupervised. A great many young men in my generation salivated at the prospect of getting close to a wimminz like this, and as such, her life is an object lesson in the reality of what a wimminz turns into once she hits the wall.

Locklear’s first marriage was to a real-life “Fuckbuddy Rockbanddrummer” named Tommy Lee. She divorced him before her seventh anniversary to marry another musician, Ricky Sambora. Like the classy skank she is, she appeared on Howard Stern’s trashy radio program to compare the size of their penii, and boast that she “had better than both of them” at many times in the past. She divorced Sambora in 2007, only to shack up with the poor fella who apparently got his face chewed off.

I doubt we’ve heard the last of this bitch.

Edit: Gunner Q reported independently on Locklear’s first arrest. Read it.