From Dalrock, an interesting mini-article by our nigga Trust (here). In the first place, he seems to be suggesting that he made a successful transition from the playa lifestyle to a monogamous marriage. For this miracle, he credits his faith. I have no reason to disbelieve him. However he did it, my hat is off.
He then writes some interesting stuff about being ensnared by the worst sort of hook-up, the married ho’. I have never discussed this in detail, but it is something the young bros need to watch out for.
Trust states:
a couple of my partners turned out to be married, unbeknownst to me, and I found out that they did things with me in a brief encounter that their husbands never experienced with them…
There’s a lot in the subtext here, and a natural thing to wonder is how our brother has the knowledge of what said ho’ did or didn’t do with her husband. Either she admitted it after the fact, in which case he can’t really claim the “unbeknownst to me” part, or he is personal friends with these men, who are married to these hoez, and they all discuss their sex lives together. That’s all peripheral, though.
Young brothers need to get some understanding about the true dangers of banging a married ho’. The comeuppance they face will almost never be violence (though that is a non-trivial possibility) from the spurned husband. It will, however, often be in the form of a subpoena, to the divorce trial, often delivered months after the deed is done. Go down to the divorce courts on any given Tuesday and you are not unlikely to see some poor playa, sweating under the hot lights, as the husband and wife’s attorneys ask some very uncomfortable questions, which he will be compelled to answer if he doesn’t want to sit in jail for contempt.
“Yes, sir, I did do that sex act with the respondent, usually described by a two-digit number”
“Yes, sir, she did tell me she was married, after the fact”
“Yes sir, I did continue to see her for sex. I don’t remember how many times.”
I am told by my scumbag friends in the legal profession that this is a favorite tactic of both parties in the divorce action, as the petitioner (i.e. husband who asks for divorce) wants to demonstrate what a piece of shit he married, and the respondent (i.e. married ho’ you banged) wants to project the blame for the affair on you.
After this humiliating spectacle is over, you will be released from the witness box, but the fun is just beginning for you. Everything you’ve talked about has been transcribed and recorded. You can be found on the internet as a witness, by anyone who searches. A quick request to the courts will vomit up your entire testimony, written down, to be used against you for years to come. If the ho’ you bang (or her family) is high-profile enough, you might even make the morning edition of the regional papers, at any time in the near or distant future, and you’ll get to relive your embarrassment anew, each time either party makes the news.
How about your father. Will he be proud to read the transcript of your testimony in this action? What if you meet a nice young girl like our Brother Trust did, and want to settle down into a blissful life of monogamy. Would she find you a good insurance risk, knowing your history? Will your boss’ wife read of your exploits, before the company dinner party? Will she be impressed?
So, some hot new bitch is coming on hard to you. What to do? I always assume any woman who comes on strong is married. Unmarried women approach differently (and specifically, they’re much more subtle). First I check her facebook and instagram profiles. Then I start asking a series of questions. Most importantly, I don’t fuck someone in the first fifteen minutes of meeting her. That’s something I learned long ago.
Aside from getting your ass kicked by her husband, or getting embarrassed in court, fucking a married ho’ is pathetic. The fact that you are so desperate as to sniff around for sexual scraps that falls off a married man’s table signifies your low status among both women and men.
There’s also a distinctly homosexual dimension to fucking married women. You can’t escape that the pussy you’re fucking hosted her husband’s schlong, just days (possibly moments) before you dived into it. Those lips you’re kissing just sucked him off. How does his dick taste?
In short, A married ho’ is always a terrible bargain. Just don’t do it.
Hello Boxer.
I’d be honored to be one of your scumbag friends in the legal profession.
And yes indeed, if you are the “other man” and you bang married women, you can be assured of a few things.
1) You are being used to validate her. Sure, she’s a hole for you to masturbate into. But make no mistake about it – she’s using you too, for any number of reasons – to make her feel “young again”, to prove to herself she’s “still got it” and can attract a man she wants to have sex with, for some form of human connection, to get back at her husband for real or imagined slights, whatever.
2) It will end at some point. She might be looking to branchswing, sure. But would you be her new branch? Of course you wouldn’t. Because if she’ll cheat with you, she’ll cheat on you. Or, she’ll start feeling guilty. Or she’ll know she can’t have a real relationship with you because husband/kids/job/life. And that’s not even counting the real possibility that she will get caught.
3) You’re both living out a fantasy. You, with no strings attached sex where you don’t have to pay for anything or live with her or support her or care about her or listen to her 24/7. You never have to watch her belch and fart and take dumps and pick her nose. She, with a man who is LARPing “caring” about her, and giving her a little bit of sex that she can’t get/won’t accept at home from a man she’s not attracted to, and getting a brief respite from her unhappiness and lack of satisfaction. It’s not sustainable, and it will end at some point.
4) One or both of you will catch feelz. And then it will REALLY hurt when it ends (not if, WHEN).
I do take issue at least a little bit with the availability of court testimony. You can’t always look up trial testimony in a routine humdrum divorce on the internet, in fact most of the time you can’t do it. You would have to know one of the lawyers involved and get a copy of the trial transcript, or get it from the court by physically walking to the courthouse and getting the hard file out. Or if online, you have to subscribe to a service. And even then the testimony isn’t always transcribed, even if it is audio recorded or a court reporter takes it down.
That said, anyone who really wants to find your sworn testimony will be able to find it.
And… yes, you had better tell the truth. Because if you are the “other man” in a divorce, and you get a subpoena, there’s no point in lying. The lawyers already know the wife cheated on her soon to be ex husband with you. And they know that because she told her husband who told her lawyer. Or her husband found the text messages and dick pics. Or someone saw the two of you together and told her husband.
Don’t do it.
And, if things go south, if you piss her off, if you end things with her and she becomes a woman scorned, or if she gets caught….
She could falsely accuse you of rape, so as to deflect attention from her conduct and project blame for the affair onto you. And it won’t matter that it was all enthusiastically consensual or that all the meetings were at hotels or at your place, where she had to come to you. All she has to do is say that you went just a bit too far, that you did something she didn’t consent to and forced the issue, that you had anal sex once when she didn’t really want to. And then you are not only the “other man” in a divorce case; you’re also the target of a felony investigation.
It doesn’t matter that the allegations are not all that credible. They will still be investigated. You will still get jammed up. You will have to lawyer up. You will have to give DNA samples. You might be advised to give an official statement to the police in which you have no choice but to describe, in graphic detail, in writing or on video, the sexual encounters you had with her. And you have no choice because you have to portray the sex as completely consensual. If you have photos or saved text messages (and you should, for this very reason), you will need to give them to the cops – again, because you have to portray this as a consensual relationship in which nothing nonconsensual ever took place.
You will have to take time off work. You will have to pay the lawyers. You will have to explain your absences to your employer and friends. You will undergo the stress of the uncertainty, your life on tenterhooks, your life on hold, until you’re cleared. Or if you’re not cleared, then you’ll be indicted, arrested, booked, arraigned, and bound over for trial. In which case you’ll have to decide whether to plead it down if you can, or stand trial and take your chances.
Not fun. Not fun at all.
I thought Boxer, that no-fault, no-questions-asked divorce was now universal throughout the American states. You are however spot-on about married women coming on strongest and that it is always best to avoid such women.
The homosexual context you brought into it is a good reason why I think many a promiscuous woman supports the rainbow flag.
Besides I can’t remember the number of times Proverbs warns about an adulterous women and what happens to the man after he’s stupid enough to do the deed (death)…but it is a few.
Sexual immorality is nothing to mess with.
Fair question about how I know what they didn’t do for their husbands.
In one case, the husband emailed me. Threat of violence followed by questions after i told him i didn’t know she was married. He said she hadn’t touched him in years.
Another woman looked me up after I had sex with one of her friends. Left out she was married. Women talk too much amongst each other, and that’s how I found out she was married and neglected her husband.
Of course, I do not know for sure if the stories i heard were true. It was after the fact, ex post factor justifications, so it could also be lies. Turns out the one whose husband emailed me was the daughter of a minister, so maybe she was trying to keep her saintly image with him. It’s the thought of his grief that gave me the most guilt.
I was only 22-24 at the time, this was in the mid to late 90s. New to sex, didn’t really understand how women operated. Assumed older women claiming to be single just wanted some fun, didn’t know the back stories. Just enjoyed it. Didn’t suspect they were married.
I’ve been married about 15 years, have kids. No infidelity that I know of. I’m actually very ashamed of this, so I would only say it on a moniker. Not proud it happened, just depressing to think that I enjoyed things their husbands didn’t. Seems their husbands, who I didn’t know existed, were decent men.
Very said. Basically fit the script of Michelle Langley’s books, which are terrifying.
a couple of my partners turned out to be married, unbeknownst to me,
..
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“A Couple” of times?
Any man with rules (aka Bushido) of honor would only allow that once (if at all) before he figured out .. so it never happen again.
But a couple of times .. errrr .. ummmmm .. allow me to translate .. but that’s pair for the course for a playa dont’cha know.
He was an un’dis’crime’un’nate’ing playa that has used as bad a judgement for a wife as every man before him. Hey dude Trust .. marriage is the leading cause of divorce in the world.
He might want to never record what happens when he’s not home. He may be in for a playa playing his wifes tune like he never did before .. or after.
…
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Hey Boxer .. at this point any woman you kiss has .. more than likely .. had a penis in her mouth. Just sayin .. good judgement isn’t th wimminz strong suit. That’s how I got the count I have .. lol.
A couple of times, as in I didn’t find out about either until it was over with them both. If fact, I found out about the first one after I found out about the second one.
In any case, I was young and dumb and didn’t know. I’m ashamed of it, but telling the story for benefit of others.
The husband emailed me shortly after it happened. The one before that lady was one I found out about from girl gossip years later. “Ya know, she was still married then.”
I never let it happen again, but didn’t find out about either until both were over.
[Boxer replies: I appreciate your honesty. I’ve certainly been guilty of similar things, and like you, I feel pretty stupid about these childish indiscretions. I think most of us, when we get older, are prone to bury our mistakes, rather than talk about them… which leaves the younger (esp. fatherless) men without the benefit of learning from others.]
You’re welcome, Boxer.
I think what happened with the woman whose husband emailed me was she was in a devoutly religious family, and kept up that image. She heard a story about me from a friend and looked me up. In her mind, the acts she pleasured me with would probably have violated her image with her husband. What’s more, she was about 10 or so years older, so I doubt I was the only. As a married man now, the grief in this man’s emails haunt me. He emailed me shortly after it happened after her found an email. I was probably 23.
The other girl happened a year before when i was probably 22, but I didn’t find out she was married until another girl told me, it was a year or two after I found out about the other marriage. She was divorced by the time I found out. Girl gossip, etc.
I imagine a lot of men who had short sex flings with married women probably never found out.
I probably wouldn’t have shared, but my point was that if these ladies would have directed the energy to their husbands they probably would have had better marriages.
Reading things like this get me very angry…..I’m so sick of sex being on “her” terms, even if it is clandestine, and sneaky
Always It’s about the bitches needs, and only because she is offering her pussy to someone….No way this would work the other way around
If us guys want sex, we either end up begging for it, or we hope to hell there is a decent woman out there willing to give it up for us, and we hope against heck that she ain’t married if she is offering
‘Boxer replies: I appreciate your honesty. I’ve certainly been guilty of similar things, and like you, I feel pretty stupid about these childish indiscretions. I think most of us, when we get older, are prone to bury our mistakes, rather than talk about them… which leaves the younger (esp. fatherless) men without the benefit of learning from others.’
@Boxer….
Does this prove what I said in Dalrock’s thread about your run of the mill PUA not having much discernment in the woman he has sex with…at least at first?
I’d guess with experience running through the predictible consequences of sexual immorality…you’d be dumb to not learn from your mistakes.
@Trust…
I understand you did these things before you became a Christian. Are you familiar with Proverbs 7? Granted I knew about this passage…and I take it as truth since it is Scripture that it is a good warning because those things WILL happen so I don’t need to experience it myself. I’m curious if this was also part of your experience.
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+7
@earlthomas786
Pretty much. They initiated. Most men about in their early 20s don’t really have much discernment or think things through. Attractive woman in a bar, no rings, dancing, then getting handsy, says it’s been a while. Rest is history. Most 23 something men with an attractive woman talking about swallowing and it being a while aren’t going to figure out she is married from that behavior. Thinking she’s single it’s quite tempting.
Yeesh even the adulterous woman in the Bible had enough self-awareness to tell the ignorant guy that she was married.
Perhaps it’s another aspect that is worth thinking over. Women are more apt to initiate with a guy and can handle the rejection better if they already have a guy in hand. Seems like while it’s flattering for a guy to have a woman coming on to him…perhaps he should wonder if she’s already taken.
Single women overall sure don’t act that aggressive unless they have liquid courage.
Brother Trust: May I please contact you privately and confidentially? I assume the email you use (which will never be seen by anyone else) to post here is good.
Thanks in advance if this is possible. If not, just don’t reply. Either way, I appreciate your insights and wisdom in this little forum, and I hope the younger bros are taking / will take your stories seriously.
Apologies, i missed your question before.
Sure, you can email me. The email is valid.